RedWave Period Tracker

The first period tracking app designed by men, for men

Developed by GOP officials, spiritual leaders, and concerned private citizens to monitor your cycle. Because who knows women's bodies better than they do?

Learn How We Can Take Your Reproductive Rights Into Our Hands.

Entrust us with your menstrual cycle data, and we’ll help you make sure your uterus is always doing what it’s meant to do.

With FLOW-MAZING FEATURES like:

Patented Period and Person Tracker™

We track your menstrual cycle – and track you – to ensure that you stay in your state, and away from doctors who would help you if you need an emergency abortion. Not to worry – we’ve also enlisted your neighbors and friendly patrolmen to keep an eye on you too!

Sync with His Calendar

We sync your fertile window with your husband’s calendar to ensure you’re always ready to go when he is – and get pregnant naturally. Besides, we don’t want your period cramping his style.

Under Control Care

We connect you with a GOP-appointed doctor in your area.

Note: our providers cannot help you with contraception, infertility services including IVF, maternity care and in some cases even basic gynecological care. Because we care about your needs, almost as much as ours.

Carry-to-Term Guarantee

The moment we know you’re pregnant, we’ll monitor you and make sure you stay pregnant, even if your health is at risk.

COMING JANUARY 2025

Why should my wife and I use RedWave?

Less Mental Labor

By handing the keys to your health over to us, wives can focus on what matters most: a clean home and a happy husband.

Pregnancy Optimization

RedWave helps you do your part to grow our great nation by forecasting your wife’s fertile window and reminding you when it’s time to copulate.

Fertility Fun!

Our gamified app makes periods more fun for husbands and wives to track together. After all, menstruation starts with MEN!

How do I track my cycle using the app?

Don’t you worry - your husband will do all the tracking. If he misses a menstruation moment, alerts will sound reminding him to add the required data. After three reminders, law enforcement will be contacted.

Sound crazy? Vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz to ensure this never becomes your reality.

Can the app track other things besides my period?

Yep. We monitor your visits to healthcare providers. In fact, we track your every move so don’t even think about trying to make a “quick errand” over to Minnesota.

Speaking of Minnesota, in 2023, Governor Tim Walz signed the Protect Reproductive Options Act which establishes reproductive rights as fundamental rights. As VP, he’ll fight to ensure you have access to the healthcare you need. Vote for Walz and Kamala Harris.

Is my data safe?

If you vote for the conservative agenda nothing is safe - least of all, your data.

Keep yourself and your family safe. Vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.

What if I don’t want all my info shared?

Then vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. They care about protecting women’s reproductive rights. Don’t wait - Cast your ballot now.

What if I don’t have a husband?

That’s too bad. Try to find one soon so you don’t become a childless cat lady.

You know who supports all ladies, including childless cat owners? Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. Help put them in office.

I’m menopausal. Is there an app for me?

If you’re not of childbearing age anymore, we don’t really care about you. But Kamala Harris and Tim Walz care about taking care of ALL people. Cast your vote for them now.

What is going on here?

We’re trying to return society to 1873 (yes, before women had the right to vote) by invoking the Comstock Act written that year, which criminalizes the transport of contraceptives, medication or any equipment that may be used in an abortion or reproductive healthcare.

Don’t want to go back 151 years? Vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.

Is it true that women are less fertile during daylight savings time?

No, that is an unfunny joke / complete myth that JD Vance once tweeted.

You know what to do.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT

“My wife and I were fortunate to try RedWave in its beta phase. Using the app’s fertility optimizing technologies, we now have three beautiful, totally normal children. More importantly, RedWave's Period and Person Tracker™ feature ensures that my wife will never leave me, even if she tries.”

“When Jesus himself tells you it’s time to bring America back to an era when livestock had more autonomy than women, you have to answer the call. I only wish this app existed when my wife was still menstruating.”

“Like most mothers, I think it’s really important that my daughter grows up in an America with fewer rights than I had. RedWave is the first app created solely for that purpose. And it’s so user-friendly. We women don’t have to do anything besides ovulate, just like nature intended.”

Vote for Kamala Harris »

The app you’re exploring may be satirical, but the world it reflects isn’t far-fetched. We’re watching women’s autonomy slip away, bit by bit, through laws, court rulings, and political maneuvers. The time to push back is now—before these dystopian policies become a reality for us all.

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